It's Chriiiiiiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaaaaas!!

“Silver bells, silver bells, it’s Christmas time in the city!”

And of course at home! To begin with Grandmum is in town to that automatically bumps up excitement levels and then there’s so much cake and so many presents and just...everyone is smiling! It’s the perfect time of year.

India isn’t massively big on Christmas as a religious occasion, but as always, we know how to appreciate and we just need an excuse to have huge celebrations! It has changed though, since I was little. What used to be a quiet season with sweaters, mufflers, and NO SALES, it has turned into quite the festive season!

Streets are filled with lights, Christmas trees decked up with wonderful accessories (and sometimes scary looking angels!), and then the differently shaped Santas! Oh it’s simply wonderful to walk about the city during Christmas. Everyone is happy, smiling, shopping, window shopping and just generally spreading good cheer! And strangely, you don’t see this sort of happiness and warmth during any other season. You really cannot help but grin and sing along to the carols being played on slightly scratchy speakers!

Oooh then work doesn’t look like office anymore! It looks uncannily like the North Pole! Christmas trees, mistletoe, stars, balloons (Which adult boys take extreme pleasures in bursting! But that is another story titled : The 20 something babies : Arjun & Gautam) and then the party! Food glorious fooooooood! Absolutely marvellous!

Ah and then there’s my tree. Dear ole tree. He (yes, we had a boy!), was perfectly little and sweet when we (Mum) brought him home four years ago and my oh my, how he has blossomed! He’s at the awkward teenage stage when his top leaves are much longer than the bottom ones. So he does look a bit gangly and strange but he’s my little perfect tree! And he’s very well dressed with baubles and stars and bells! Needless to say, it is always a white Christmas with cotton wool!

Then there are presents! No I am not shallow but I do love presents! Even if it’s a big bear hug from someone or a nice kiss on the cheek! But of course it’s not just that! The whole family branches off is different directions to do the shopping. Very secretly of course. And then we all troop back at exactly the same time, awkwardly shimmying up the stairs with big bags, trying very hard to not show what has been bought! Haha! It’s lovely! As if we don’t know who the pressies are for! Then that evening, everyone will suddenly pretend like that have extremely long business in their bathrooms and will sneak past their desks and grab coloured pens, scissors, scotch tape, wrapping paper and ribbons and casually go into the bathroom only to emerge an hour later looking way too calm to have not been up to mischief!

Once that is all done, the eating begins( Read:Continues) and Christmas Eve dinner is just something else! My brain becomes 9 years old and my tummy enlarges 9 fold! Sheesh. 24 years old and I still can’t sleep on Christmas. MUST LEAVE SANTA HIS COOKIES AND WARM MILK! Ah little pleasures! The minute the clock strikes 12, I become mental with excitement. Like a drunkish little puppy! And of course I wake up Grandma and tell her it’s Christmas! As if she didn’t know! Hahahaha!

And then BOOM it’s 9AM and it’s present opening time! Aaaah the joy of opening presents with the family! All that sneaking about and hiding was worth it then! The day that follows is full of happiness, eating, being merry!Turkey, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey, gravy, turkey, plum pudding, wine, turkey and Oh yea...some more turkey!

As I write this – on a cold WORKING Boxing Day – I wonder why I am not getting over my post-Christmas upsetness by shopping. At Oxford Street. Or Regent Street. Or Orchard Street. I think all this unhappiness started post becoming an adult. When work and all that came up. So I’ve decided...that’s it. I going to be 9 again! Yaaaay!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

It's funny how life can be...

Sometimes when I sit down and think about life, I realise that I draw a blank. Not really because it's a boring, mundane world I live in but because I'm so full of various thoughts, I'm not quite sure what to focus on. Chaos with no EXIT sign.

Now it sounds a bit odd and marginally insane but truth be told, I cannot finish one thought at a time. While I am thinking of A, I'm already planning about B while continuing a chain of thoughts on C. People find it hard to figure out what I am saying because more often than not, I answer my questions in my head and move on to something else before the person even has a chance to analyse my question! But that now brings me to this question....on life.

How is it that some stranger pops out of the most random rain cloud and is so very similar to me and can keep track of my continuing 11 thoughts while I am currently explaining the 12th? How come I have the best of friends and need nothing more because it doesn't get better than them but still there's always room for that one more special someone? Shouldn't there be a rule for the number of people who can just march into your life, hold a sacred place in your heart and just never leave there after? Maybe it's just me. Maybe my heart is like Hotel California...you can check in anytime of year but you can never leave!

I had the most insanely awesome night on Saturday. A group of colleagues-now-good-friends and I had a night out. At work they're completely different people. So professional. So prim. So proper. So colleagues. But come sunset, they're so...normal. They do the things I do. Eat the same kind of stuff I do. Know the same music I do and stunningly for the same reasons I do. For example, we all seemed to blame our knowledge of songs from the 70s on our parents. And I thought I was the only one! Haha.

So yea, in particular there is this one person I get on massively and astonishingly well with. He's a super person. He's a writer/filmmaker like me. He has a passion for music. A thirst for discovery. And above all an understanding for the strange! I think that is what really brought us closer. The bizarre, absurd, random things seem so normal to us both.

Hmmm strange...where has this person been all my life. Same city. Same hang outs. How come he's not part of my gang of friends? How come it took me 24 years to meet this stranger? Ok 24 years is a bit much but say 10 years ago seems about the apt time yea?

I mean he should have been a part of my circle of friends since forever basically.

But he's not...and probably won't be. But I know for a fact he'll always be super special to me. One way or another.

PS - This one is for you, you absolute GIT! Always keep calm and stay badass! :D

Where ever you go...I will be right here waiting for you.

Sometimes it doesn't really matter how long or how far or even why someone is so far away. All that matters is that every day they're gone is one day closer to seeing them again.

No, really what is it about missing people? It's not that life doesn't go on. Happily so it does go on. But then every time you're having the most spectacular time - dancing like you've never danced before - and then BOOM. Sudden mood change.

It's happened so many times to me. Yea, yea I have fun but there's that moment when you think "Oh man, I wish X was here". And I'll continue to have a good time but with something missing. It's difficult to really pinpoint what it is I miss most times. Is it the company? The physical aspect of the person I'm missing? The talk? The closeness? It's easy when I miss Mum. I just miss every thing about her! But it's others that cause this strange sort of guilt almost. Like: Oh gosh X isn't here. She/he is probably working hard on something. And here I am partying hard or whatever.

Someday I will get to the bottom on this mystery...but until then I will be right here waiting for you! :)

Fight fire with fire.

Ok let’s face it. Bangalore City is hugely overcrowded and it’s clearly only going to get worse! But then there is absolutely no point in pointing fingers at anyone. And even if there was some logic behind the blame game, well it’s not very polite now is it?

There are a huge number of cars and a larger number of motor bikes and a somewhere in between number of auto rickshaws which is probably something I could muster the courage to deal with. But these blooming buses, bus like big cars and mini buses. OH MY GOODNESS. GET OUT!

I understand they’re big but come on, it doesn’t mean in the least that it’s ok for them to wander onto the wrong side of the dual carriage road and come in the way of oncoming traffic. LUDICRIOUS!

Only this morning as I drove to work, I literally had to stop because a bus hurtled towards my (our) side of the street and completely out of control it must be noted! So the car ahead of me couldn’t budge an inch or he’d be looking down on us from heaven above. And left with no choice but to wait, we both held up traffic. Of course the git of a bully bus driver looked cool as a cucumber as if everything in the world is and always will be rainbows and butterflies.

My other grouse against these larger than life and should be banned cars is that they bully me LMassively. Boo.

Just because my parents were wise enough to buy me a city smart car as opposed to a dump truck, doesn’t mean I have NO RIGHT OF WAY. And forget when I’m in my car, this bullying

business only gets worse when I’m walking. Crossing the street is a depressing nightmare.

To begin with very few people actually stop even when there is a pedestrian crossing. Thus any hope of actually getting to the required side of the street when there is no crossing, is all but lost.

Not it truly unfortunate that I need to do this road crossing every day but when there are so few zebra crossings I simply have no choice but to dart across the road quite randomly. BLEH. But that is not the end yea! Ruthless buses, actually far enough to let me easily get across - even in high heels – speed up on seeing me and spitefully thunder towards me cowering in the middle. Needless to say they don’t seem to care two hoots whether they hit me or scrape past. Basically they don’t care.

What makes it worse is that when I sometimes very bravely look into their rear view mirrors after they’ve gone past, I CAN SEE THE GITS SNIGGERING AS IF THEY JUST ACHIEVED SOMETHING TREMENDOUS! Good grief...next time I go shopping...better buy them a brain each. GAH.

And I notice it happening all the time! To everyone with smaller than Mt. Everest cars or

vehicles or even those poor, unsuspecting and innocent walkers. The nail in the coffin however is the attitude of the police force. Either they’re too blooming lazy or downright cowardly. Hence time and again allow these bullies to get away with even hitting cars and killing people sometimes.

Thus after much deliberation, I have seriously decided to invest in a T-90. That’s right. I want a 46.5 tonne, 9.53m long, 3.78m wide, 2.22m high, V-96 engine, 12 cylinder, 1250 horse power , 3.5 million Pound, URALVAGONZAVOD built RUSSIAN MILITARY BATTLE TANK.

Stupid buses...WHO’S YOUR DADDY NOW!

PS: It also has...

1 x 125mm main gun

1 x 12.7mm machine gun

1 x 7.62mm coaxial machine gun

2 x 6 smoke grenade dischargers

PPS – Don’t even get me started on the ammo it has stocked on board.

Why India will not be as strong a superpower....yet...

It’s not that India is not capable of being the most deadly superpower. If anything, she has the trump cards to be exactly so. There’s a stunningly skilled population, and if they’re not skilled they’re bloody hardworking. Then there’s plentiful natural resources in the 28 states and 7 Union territories and believe me, we can teach anyone a thing or two about language, culture and tradition! ;)

So yes, as I was saying, we have it in us to be the Master and Commander, but then we won’t. And that really is the saddest part. The people who are capable of running a country soundly and without the greed of money, just don’t seemed to be inclined to getting their hands dirty in politics as we know it.

And the second rung of people who are marginally capable of doing so, think they are actually better than the above lot so are arrogant about it. Then, oh good grief, are the ones who are absolutely incapable of running the country. And the worst part is they think they’re the best. All the deadly sins moulded into human being are these people.

Now this defected mould has the uncanny ability of making other defected moulds too. The educated masses have no say in this because before long an army of goons will be knocking at your door, if God forbid, you were stupid enough to actually vote for someone capable. Geez what were you thinking!

So when people of authority are only chasing this flying pig of glory, money and eternal power and each one is too busy selling their soul so that they can have a go at ru(i)nning this beautiful country, why ever should America, China and even good old Pakistan take the time out to wait until we’ve got it into our numbskulls that... “Hey hang on there....we’re actually awesome and are fit to rule the world!” No no no they’re bound to swoop in and do all they can to prevent us from having that moment of Eureka. And I say that’s perfectly fair.

It’s an absolute shame that with so much potential there is such lacking passion to take the country forward. I think it’s time to stop waiting for the world to change. Look like I may have to do it myself. Oh yes...politics here I come. I think! Muuuuuuuuuuum. HELP!

PS - We did win the world cup so surely we're well on out way to ruling Earth!