It's Chriiiiiiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaaaaas!!

“Silver bells, silver bells, it’s Christmas time in the city!”

And of course at home! To begin with Grandmum is in town to that automatically bumps up excitement levels and then there’s so much cake and so many presents and just...everyone is smiling! It’s the perfect time of year.

India isn’t massively big on Christmas as a religious occasion, but as always, we know how to appreciate and we just need an excuse to have huge celebrations! It has changed though, since I was little. What used to be a quiet season with sweaters, mufflers, and NO SALES, it has turned into quite the festive season!

Streets are filled with lights, Christmas trees decked up with wonderful accessories (and sometimes scary looking angels!), and then the differently shaped Santas! Oh it’s simply wonderful to walk about the city during Christmas. Everyone is happy, smiling, shopping, window shopping and just generally spreading good cheer! And strangely, you don’t see this sort of happiness and warmth during any other season. You really cannot help but grin and sing along to the carols being played on slightly scratchy speakers!

Oooh then work doesn’t look like office anymore! It looks uncannily like the North Pole! Christmas trees, mistletoe, stars, balloons (Which adult boys take extreme pleasures in bursting! But that is another story titled : The 20 something babies : Arjun & Gautam) and then the party! Food glorious fooooooood! Absolutely marvellous!

Ah and then there’s my tree. Dear ole tree. He (yes, we had a boy!), was perfectly little and sweet when we (Mum) brought him home four years ago and my oh my, how he has blossomed! He’s at the awkward teenage stage when his top leaves are much longer than the bottom ones. So he does look a bit gangly and strange but he’s my little perfect tree! And he’s very well dressed with baubles and stars and bells! Needless to say, it is always a white Christmas with cotton wool!

Then there are presents! No I am not shallow but I do love presents! Even if it’s a big bear hug from someone or a nice kiss on the cheek! But of course it’s not just that! The whole family branches off is different directions to do the shopping. Very secretly of course. And then we all troop back at exactly the same time, awkwardly shimmying up the stairs with big bags, trying very hard to not show what has been bought! Haha! It’s lovely! As if we don’t know who the pressies are for! Then that evening, everyone will suddenly pretend like that have extremely long business in their bathrooms and will sneak past their desks and grab coloured pens, scissors, scotch tape, wrapping paper and ribbons and casually go into the bathroom only to emerge an hour later looking way too calm to have not been up to mischief!

Once that is all done, the eating begins( Read:Continues) and Christmas Eve dinner is just something else! My brain becomes 9 years old and my tummy enlarges 9 fold! Sheesh. 24 years old and I still can’t sleep on Christmas. MUST LEAVE SANTA HIS COOKIES AND WARM MILK! Ah little pleasures! The minute the clock strikes 12, I become mental with excitement. Like a drunkish little puppy! And of course I wake up Grandma and tell her it’s Christmas! As if she didn’t know! Hahahaha!

And then BOOM it’s 9AM and it’s present opening time! Aaaah the joy of opening presents with the family! All that sneaking about and hiding was worth it then! The day that follows is full of happiness, eating, being merry!Turkey, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey, gravy, turkey, plum pudding, wine, turkey and Oh yea...some more turkey!

As I write this – on a cold WORKING Boxing Day – I wonder why I am not getting over my post-Christmas upsetness by shopping. At Oxford Street. Or Regent Street. Or Orchard Street. I think all this unhappiness started post becoming an adult. When work and all that came up. So I’ve decided...that’s it. I going to be 9 again! Yaaaay!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

It's funny how life can be...

Sometimes when I sit down and think about life, I realise that I draw a blank. Not really because it's a boring, mundane world I live in but because I'm so full of various thoughts, I'm not quite sure what to focus on. Chaos with no EXIT sign.

Now it sounds a bit odd and marginally insane but truth be told, I cannot finish one thought at a time. While I am thinking of A, I'm already planning about B while continuing a chain of thoughts on C. People find it hard to figure out what I am saying because more often than not, I answer my questions in my head and move on to something else before the person even has a chance to analyse my question! But that now brings me to this question....on life.

How is it that some stranger pops out of the most random rain cloud and is so very similar to me and can keep track of my continuing 11 thoughts while I am currently explaining the 12th? How come I have the best of friends and need nothing more because it doesn't get better than them but still there's always room for that one more special someone? Shouldn't there be a rule for the number of people who can just march into your life, hold a sacred place in your heart and just never leave there after? Maybe it's just me. Maybe my heart is like Hotel California...you can check in anytime of year but you can never leave!

I had the most insanely awesome night on Saturday. A group of colleagues-now-good-friends and I had a night out. At work they're completely different people. So professional. So prim. So proper. So colleagues. But come sunset, they're so...normal. They do the things I do. Eat the same kind of stuff I do. Know the same music I do and stunningly for the same reasons I do. For example, we all seemed to blame our knowledge of songs from the 70s on our parents. And I thought I was the only one! Haha.

So yea, in particular there is this one person I get on massively and astonishingly well with. He's a super person. He's a writer/filmmaker like me. He has a passion for music. A thirst for discovery. And above all an understanding for the strange! I think that is what really brought us closer. The bizarre, absurd, random things seem so normal to us both.

Hmmm strange...where has this person been all my life. Same city. Same hang outs. How come he's not part of my gang of friends? How come it took me 24 years to meet this stranger? Ok 24 years is a bit much but say 10 years ago seems about the apt time yea?

I mean he should have been a part of my circle of friends since forever basically.

But he's not...and probably won't be. But I know for a fact he'll always be super special to me. One way or another.

PS - This one is for you, you absolute GIT! Always keep calm and stay badass! :D

Where ever you go...I will be right here waiting for you.

Sometimes it doesn't really matter how long or how far or even why someone is so far away. All that matters is that every day they're gone is one day closer to seeing them again.

No, really what is it about missing people? It's not that life doesn't go on. Happily so it does go on. But then every time you're having the most spectacular time - dancing like you've never danced before - and then BOOM. Sudden mood change.

It's happened so many times to me. Yea, yea I have fun but there's that moment when you think "Oh man, I wish X was here". And I'll continue to have a good time but with something missing. It's difficult to really pinpoint what it is I miss most times. Is it the company? The physical aspect of the person I'm missing? The talk? The closeness? It's easy when I miss Mum. I just miss every thing about her! But it's others that cause this strange sort of guilt almost. Like: Oh gosh X isn't here. She/he is probably working hard on something. And here I am partying hard or whatever.

Someday I will get to the bottom on this mystery...but until then I will be right here waiting for you! :)

Fight fire with fire.

Ok let’s face it. Bangalore City is hugely overcrowded and it’s clearly only going to get worse! But then there is absolutely no point in pointing fingers at anyone. And even if there was some logic behind the blame game, well it’s not very polite now is it?

There are a huge number of cars and a larger number of motor bikes and a somewhere in between number of auto rickshaws which is probably something I could muster the courage to deal with. But these blooming buses, bus like big cars and mini buses. OH MY GOODNESS. GET OUT!

I understand they’re big but come on, it doesn’t mean in the least that it’s ok for them to wander onto the wrong side of the dual carriage road and come in the way of oncoming traffic. LUDICRIOUS!

Only this morning as I drove to work, I literally had to stop because a bus hurtled towards my (our) side of the street and completely out of control it must be noted! So the car ahead of me couldn’t budge an inch or he’d be looking down on us from heaven above. And left with no choice but to wait, we both held up traffic. Of course the git of a bully bus driver looked cool as a cucumber as if everything in the world is and always will be rainbows and butterflies.

My other grouse against these larger than life and should be banned cars is that they bully me LMassively. Boo.

Just because my parents were wise enough to buy me a city smart car as opposed to a dump truck, doesn’t mean I have NO RIGHT OF WAY. And forget when I’m in my car, this bullying

business only gets worse when I’m walking. Crossing the street is a depressing nightmare.

To begin with very few people actually stop even when there is a pedestrian crossing. Thus any hope of actually getting to the required side of the street when there is no crossing, is all but lost.

Not it truly unfortunate that I need to do this road crossing every day but when there are so few zebra crossings I simply have no choice but to dart across the road quite randomly. BLEH. But that is not the end yea! Ruthless buses, actually far enough to let me easily get across - even in high heels – speed up on seeing me and spitefully thunder towards me cowering in the middle. Needless to say they don’t seem to care two hoots whether they hit me or scrape past. Basically they don’t care.

What makes it worse is that when I sometimes very bravely look into their rear view mirrors after they’ve gone past, I CAN SEE THE GITS SNIGGERING AS IF THEY JUST ACHIEVED SOMETHING TREMENDOUS! Good grief...next time I go shopping...better buy them a brain each. GAH.

And I notice it happening all the time! To everyone with smaller than Mt. Everest cars or

vehicles or even those poor, unsuspecting and innocent walkers. The nail in the coffin however is the attitude of the police force. Either they’re too blooming lazy or downright cowardly. Hence time and again allow these bullies to get away with even hitting cars and killing people sometimes.

Thus after much deliberation, I have seriously decided to invest in a T-90. That’s right. I want a 46.5 tonne, 9.53m long, 3.78m wide, 2.22m high, V-96 engine, 12 cylinder, 1250 horse power , 3.5 million Pound, URALVAGONZAVOD built RUSSIAN MILITARY BATTLE TANK.

Stupid buses...WHO’S YOUR DADDY NOW!

PS: It also has...

1 x 125mm main gun

1 x 12.7mm machine gun

1 x 7.62mm coaxial machine gun

2 x 6 smoke grenade dischargers

PPS – Don’t even get me started on the ammo it has stocked on board.

Why India will not be as strong a superpower....yet...

It’s not that India is not capable of being the most deadly superpower. If anything, she has the trump cards to be exactly so. There’s a stunningly skilled population, and if they’re not skilled they’re bloody hardworking. Then there’s plentiful natural resources in the 28 states and 7 Union territories and believe me, we can teach anyone a thing or two about language, culture and tradition! ;)

So yes, as I was saying, we have it in us to be the Master and Commander, but then we won’t. And that really is the saddest part. The people who are capable of running a country soundly and without the greed of money, just don’t seemed to be inclined to getting their hands dirty in politics as we know it.

And the second rung of people who are marginally capable of doing so, think they are actually better than the above lot so are arrogant about it. Then, oh good grief, are the ones who are absolutely incapable of running the country. And the worst part is they think they’re the best. All the deadly sins moulded into human being are these people.

Now this defected mould has the uncanny ability of making other defected moulds too. The educated masses have no say in this because before long an army of goons will be knocking at your door, if God forbid, you were stupid enough to actually vote for someone capable. Geez what were you thinking!

So when people of authority are only chasing this flying pig of glory, money and eternal power and each one is too busy selling their soul so that they can have a go at ru(i)nning this beautiful country, why ever should America, China and even good old Pakistan take the time out to wait until we’ve got it into our numbskulls that... “Hey hang on there....we’re actually awesome and are fit to rule the world!” No no no they’re bound to swoop in and do all they can to prevent us from having that moment of Eureka. And I say that’s perfectly fair.

It’s an absolute shame that with so much potential there is such lacking passion to take the country forward. I think it’s time to stop waiting for the world to change. Look like I may have to do it myself. Oh yes...politics here I come. I think! Muuuuuuuuuuum. HELP!

PS - We did win the world cup so surely we're well on out way to ruling Earth!

Will I ever know?

I was just listening to Fray’s, How to Save a life and somehow, everytime I listen to it, it makes me cry. And no not sob uncontrollably but the tears which make me feel helpless and so out of control of fate and destiny.

The reason it makes me so irrationally afraid and sad is that yea of course I’d stay up with you all night had I known how to save a life. I’d do it a hundred times. But the point is...will I know when it’s necessary? How do I know if I should have done it before and how the hell do I know when to do it again? It’s really haunting.

I’d lay down a list and all. I would...but how do I know when. Will I be too late...AGAIN?

Every single day, I'll be missing you.

I know it’s been 6 long years and I should be well on my way to recovery...but somehow it’s hard to ever get over what happened.

So I thought I would write you a letter in my blog to just check in with you and let you know...I’m ok. I hope you are alright as well and that Mum, Dad and Big sister are well too. Your sister’s voice still tells me to shallow swim in the seas by the way! Haha! Nutters. You both!

Anyway, I’m now working. Yes yes I am capable of doing such things. No need to mock me pest! And yea I work right opposite your house. Wish I could come over and eat all that yummie food. Mmmmmmmmm.

OK ok listen Andy Roddick has pulled out of the French Open and Simon Cowell and Paula have left Idol. It’s now JLo, Randy and Steven Tyler. Yes...bleh. Then the other news is, ok wait, BLUE has disbanded I think. Remember my blue raincoat! Haha! Oh man it was bright!

My sister is getting married this November. I wish you were here. I’d have loved to see you attempt to strut about in a Sari. I can picture a pair of jeans on under the pretty silks!

Now the reason I’m writing this is so I can say a few things.

I miss you more than I should. Or I thought I could. I didn’t show it 6 years ago because you and I...we’re the toughies right. On the outside atleast.

Anyway, I sort of bottled it up all these years and pretended I was ok. But I'm not. It numbed me when it happened and I pretended I was fine. I didn't cry when I should have. I feel I didn't show I missed you and you deserved to be shown that. But I felt it. I missed you like crazy and I still do. But then I just didn't want to make Disha feel I wasn't strong when she needed me. Or Vibha. By the way they miss you tons and tons every day too.

The truth is I hate that everytime Andy Roddick plays I expect you to call and tell me all about your delightful views on the game. I miss listening to you judge American Idol in your Simon Cowell voice and clap like Paula. I pretended everytime that it didn't affect me but the reality is that this time something has changed and I feel like it's all happening in real time again.

Every time I add pictures of my friends on my desk and see us all change...it hurts because your picture will never change. But in a way as a good friend pointed out…things with us will never change.

I miss you Urmila. But I have not a single bad memory with you. And that won’t change. I love you. Eternally.

xxxx

Kanki

PS - I still think the name Ursula suits you splendidly!

Chelsea....

Oh my dear lads! What is going on? I'm not one of those to completely dismiss you...yea I get it's a sport and you win some, you lose some...but methinks you lot played the wrong sport!

See...RUGBY does not equal football. Although silly Americans call Rugby, football. No no no this is the English Premier League see...Eeee...peee...ell. So yes...next time please don't plow into people. Yes, even if it is the ugly Manchester United team. I mean besides Rio...they're unfortunate enough anyway. ;)

Now you've pretty much wasted this year away. It's true Torres, you're a bit of a waste too. I love you and all but you're just not for the Bridge. Any idea how much Liverpool will charge for a late exchange or even a returned item? Get back to me Monday on that one.

Drogba, here...take this. And go get yourself an ice-cream. You did well(ish) son. Good job.

The rest of you...for shame! How can I get you to understand that you must try and GET the ball. If you lose it, you must retrieve it! And no...you must not assume that Lampard, Terry and Cech will come to your rescue all the time. IDIOTS. Anyway...

So I beg in all earnest. This year has been a fail. Thus, the least you can do is focus on the next year and for goodness sake don't drink the summer away. YES I AM TALKING MORE DIRECTLY TO YOU THAN THE REST ASHLEY!

And don't let the Red Devils get to you. Let's be zen about it right lads?

Ok you are now dismissed. SCRAM.

I can't wait for the five red lights to go out!

With just about four days left for the kick off of the Formula One World Championship in Australia, very little can be said about what will actually follow once it begins.

So far Red Bull, Ferrari, Mercedes, Renault and Williams have all at some point recorded the fastest timing in practice but with huge difference in those timings themselves, it is certainly hard to decipher which team is truly on top.

Red Bull and Ferrari do appear to have an edge over the other – marginally albeit. But in the world of fast cars, strategy, testing and a sport so dependant on weather, one can hardly say the results are conclusive! And more so, when a certain Michael Schumacher isn’t heading the leader board, then surely there must be more to come and much more to see before we can right of the other teams. Or at least relegate them to the mid field!

But in a time when rules and regulation dominate the sport, you begin to think. How much of the effort is the driver’s and how much the machinery. You only have to go back a couple of decades to the era when driver skill was almost the whole and soul of Formula One; And in my opinion rightly so. Yes, there was a car and I absolutely agree that it takes a good…no wait…fantastic car to win you races but really when the driver has no freedom to anything other than put on his blinkers…I mean helmet and drive. Truly, the Ecclestone era has done some immense damage!

This season, all cars are on the Pirelli tyres following the withdrawal of Bridgestone from the sport and of course teams can’t use as many sets as they want or even require! The allocated number of tyre sets per race weekend has been reduced to 11 from 14 and each driver gets the same combination of tyres which then means that pretty much every one will be making or not making the same mistakes. So much for the entertainment of watching people like Juan Pablo Montoya slipping and sliding around on slicks when the heavens were pouring their hearts out! No no…it is a sin now. One cannot have such things in the fine sport anymore!

Going on to a few more rules:

“ ‘107% QUALIFYING RULE’

During the first phase of qualifying, any driver who fails to set a lap within 107 percent of the fastest Q1 time will not be allowed to start the race. However, in exceptional circumstances, which could include a driver setting a suitable time during practice, the stewards may permit the car to start.”

Would you look at that then! So what you just don’t start? Or do you start from the pits? And what might these mysterious ‘exceptional circumstances’ be?

And if you thought that was a bit harsh, here’s the most ludicrous rule of them all. Team personnel will not be allowed to work the hours they want to! According to the official rules and regulations, “They will not be allowed into the circuit between midnight and 6am when practice is scheduled to start at 10am the following day, or between 1am and 7am when practice starts at 11am. Each team is permitted four individual exceptions to this rule during the season.”

Who knew that hard work and passion to win would also be punishable! For shame! What has F1 come to?

Forget that though, now gearboxes, which mind you at the best of times were a bit tricky, have to last 5 races instead of the previous 4.

Now most importantly, why is F1 on a cost cutting spree? And why must a McLaren be forced to spend less on a car when they can spend more, only because the officials want to make it a level playing field? In tennis, I don’t see Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer and the other big ones being told to hit with less skill and power, or not change their racquet when they feel like it! Perhaps ATP is smarter than FIA and genuinely wants real talent to come out on the courts with a proper finish as opposed to a calculated and almost pre determined outcome as is with most F1 races.

That is about all I had to say about what I dislike about the sport at the moment! But I am certain that the minute I hear those revving engines and I see the five red lights go out…as always I’ll completely forget the flaws and I will as usual be head over heels in love with the latest F1 season before Jake Humphrey can even come on and give us an overview!

And this one is going to be good. How can it not? 5 World Champions on track. One is Hamilton...we can always expect a fight from him. Button, I've always liked his spirit and admired his talent. Vettel, he's the one to beat I suspect. Alonso, a man I disliked thoroughly but I've grown to love, he's always lurking in the shadows to pounce. But that is of course when he's not hogging the limelight. And then...7 time world champion MICHAEL SCHUMACHER. That is all!

PS - I can't wait for the race in Delhi! Waaaaaaayo!

PPS - COME ON MASSA. COME ON ALONSO!

PPS - Psst Schumi...good luck! x

Day 29: A song from my childhood

Let me begin by telling you a story about my sister and your’s truly…

When we young Mum used to tuck us into bed and sing so beautifully to us…rock a bye baby rock-a-hula-baby.

Then we’d wake up a bit late in the morning for school for no fault of ours and Daddy would scold us for it and say Dontcha think its time? But before we could shed those big Teardrops, Mum would come in just in time to say Don’t be cruel to a heart that’s true!

As we grew older and a bit naughty, Mum said we were Double Trouble and sometimes worse…she’d say we’re the devil in disguise! Needless to say we were so sad about it, you could well have called our room the Heartbreak Hotel. But we got over it the minute Ma got us some Hi-Heel Sneakers and some Blue Suede Shoes.

Through our teenage years she said to us like Wise men say, “ Don’t try to be like other girls because after all She’s not you!” So we lived and we learned to Dream the Impossible dream all because Mum said if you don’t try then you’ll never know the Wonder of You. She said," I just can help believing that you’ll be what you want to be if you Follow That Dream."

She taught us of Hound dogs, Johnnt B. Goode and she told us all about Fun in Acapulco, The Blue Moon of Kentucky and Marie, his latest flame. But most importantly she taught us to always be weary of people with Suspicious Minds and we all know that Suspicion is a something we must never Surrender to!

And now because of our delightful mother…we never regret Yesterday, we have never lost that loving feeling and as much as we want to, we never show our moody blues! Yes, that is right…we don’t show it at all…even when We’re all shook up!

So when our friends were learning about the Contrary Mary or the falling bridge of London, or even Jack and Jill…my sister and I...we were way ahead. We were learning about the Jailhouse Rock and how A little less conversation is always good for the Guitar Man.

Mother you can now stand tall, with you head held high as you’ve bred two fans of the King of Rock and roll. You can now say for the Millionth and Last time…I DID IT MY WAY!

Hence, my childhood song is…

Day 28: A song that makes me feel guilty

The grammy awards just finished this weekend so I thought it was appropriate to come and pay tribute to music.

But songs don't make me feel guilty per se. Ok I'm stumped by this one.

I think I'm going to twist this a little...

The song doesn't make me feel guilty...but the current mood I am in makes me think of this song and I have put this song up on my blog before but then I guess the people I love and care about are the same so I'm going to hit them again with Hinder. And for the same reasons and before...more so perhaps now. For some people.

Day 27: A song that I wish I could play

After much deliberation on this one I decided to got with Sweet Child of Mine. So some people who are heavy guitarists say 'easy peasy lemon squeezy' to this song...and all of them quite happily play the intro for about ten seconds and then...FAIL.

I like the song and although Slash makes it look and sound pretty easy, I hardly think I'm Slash! Thus, I truly, madly, deeply wish I were able to play this one flawlessly!

It must be said though that a few Queen, Doors, Hendrix, Zeppelin and a few other songs came up on the list. And Bon Jovi...of course I would love to play all their songs...but this one won!

Day 26: A song that I can play on an instrument

This title may possibly have to be changed into the past tense but meh...who cares yea? Past, present...same no?

Day 25: A song that makes me laugh

This has absolutely nothing to do with the song itself but the story that goes with the listening to of the song.

It's involves two of my closest friend Atul and Mario and my delightful car and it also to some level involves Akhil but only because the poor darling has heard the story too many blooming times...but it makes me smile, it makes me laugh, it makes me...happy...

Wave your flag Mayo ! Which ever country you choose!